Boundaries
Proverbs
25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of
you, and they will hate you.
When
you hear the word boundary what comes to mind first? How would you define it?
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Many assume defenses, creating distance, being hateful or rude,
keeping people away. A lot of times today with think of them as borders. We
are defending what we have and who we are.
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What are some boundaries we deal with every day in the world?
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What about in the spiritual world?
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What about state lines? How important are they and do they
regulate who comes and goes?
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What about when someone chooses to change the boundary lines? What
happens? Many wars have been fought over trying to take over someone else’s
territory. The same happens when people try and change your life by changing your
boundary lines.
A lot of times as Christians we get the idea that boundaries are a
negative thing. Have you heard the “Love has no boundaries”. If someone asks you
for your shirt, you give it to them. If someone slaps you on one cheek, then
you should offer the other to them.
So
if I want to put a stop to something like that am I being sinful?
Can a Christian have boundaries and what does
the bible say about it….
Why are Christians so confused about setting boundaries?
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Can you set limits and still be a loving person?
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What if my boundaries hurt or upset someone?
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How do I respond when someone wants something from me?
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Why do I feel guilty when I set a boundary? Aren’t boundaries
selfish?
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I don’t like hearing the word NO
so I know others won’t like to hear me say it.
Jesus and his boundaries: In the bible, Jesus share with us how
he arranged his time and set priorities on things. He was faced with all kinds
of needs/wants from people and had to decide whom he was willing to give his
time to. There were times when Jesus would stop all that he was doing in order
to meet someone’s need and other times he did not. Jesus is our role model and
we are to be as Christ-like as possible. We have several examples of Jesus
saying no and they are as follows:
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No to crowds (Mark 1:34-35) – He said “No” to healing more people that were
lined up looking for him because he was here to not heal the physical needs but
seek and save the lost. He also physically couldn’t seek and save the lost if
he was stuck in one place being a doctor.
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Demands. He withdrew from the crowds who wanted him, for 1:1 time with the
Father (Luke 5:15-16)
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Abuse. He fought his way through the crowd that was trying to throw him
off a cliff for claiming to be the Messiah (Luke 4:28-30)
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Entitlement. He didn’t give in to his mother and brothers who tried to use
their relationship with him to pull him away from the crowd he was ministering
to (Matthew 12:46-50)
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Baiting Questions. When the religious leaders asked him baiting questions to make
he look foolish he answered with incisive questions of his own (Matthew
21:23-27, 22:15-22)
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Cynicism. He said no to Herod’s mocking demand of “Show us a sign that you
are the Son of God.” (Luke 23:8-9)
Some examples from scripture
B with one another
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Proverbs 25:17, “Let your foot be seldom in your
neighbor’s house, lest he has his fill of you and hate you.”
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Proverbs 26:4 says, “Answer not a fool according
to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.” This one is a little more
nuanced. Many Christians feel the need to engage anyone who talks to or
approaches them. While it’s good to be aware that God can bring you into
contact with someone anywhere and at any time, that doesn’t mean you have an
obligation to engage everyone you meet.
B for ourselves
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Titus 2:12 – Control ourselves so that we limit
our selfish ways.
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2 Cor 6:14 – No fellowship with darkness
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James 4:4 – Do not embrace the worlds way of
doing things
B Raising Children
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Proverbs 22:6 – Raising Children
So how do you know if
your boundaries are sinful or not?
Examine the motive. The way to know which
boundaries are godly is to examine the motive. Are you protecting yourself or
someone weaker from potential harm, either emotional or physical? If so, then
you are setting healthy and needful boundaries. However, if you are maintaining
distance simply because you desire to exclude
someone, that is sinful.
Me
and Not Me
Prov 14:10 - Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and
they will hate you.
Boundaries define us. They define what
is me and what is not me. A boundary shows where you end and someone else begins, leading to a sense of
ownership. We have
to deal with what is in our soul and boundaries help us define what that is.
