Boundaries

Proverbs 25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and they will hate you.

When you hear the word boundary what comes to mind first? How would you define it?

·        Many assume defenses, creating distance, being hateful or rude, keeping people away. A lot of times today with think of them as borders. We are defending what we have and who we are.

·        What are some boundaries we deal with every day in the world?

·        What about in the spiritual world?

·        What about state lines? How important are they and do they regulate who comes and goes?

·        What about when someone chooses to change the boundary lines? What happens? Many wars have been fought over trying to take over someone else’s territory. The same happens when people try and change your life by changing your boundary lines.

A lot of times as Christians we get the idea that boundaries are a negative thing. Have you heard the “Love has no boundaries”. If someone asks you for your shirt, you give it to them. If someone slaps you on one cheek, then you should offer the other to them.

So if I want to put a stop to something like that am I being sinful?

Can a Christian have boundaries and what does the bible say about it….

Why are Christians so confused about setting boundaries?

·        Can you set limits and still be a loving person?

·        What if my boundaries hurt or upset someone?

·        How do I respond when someone wants something from me?

·        Why do I feel guilty when I set a boundary? Aren’t boundaries selfish?

·        I don’t like hearing the word NO so I know others won’t like to hear me say it.

Jesus and his boundaries: In the bible, Jesus share with us how he arranged his time and set priorities on things. He was faced with all kinds of needs/wants from people and had to decide whom he was willing to give his time to. There were times when Jesus would stop all that he was doing in order to meet someone’s need and other times he did not. Jesus is our role model and we are to be as Christ-like as possible. We have several examples of Jesus saying no and they are as follows:

·        No to crowds (Mark 1:34-35) – He said “No” to healing more people that were lined up looking for him because he was here to not heal the physical needs but seek and save the lost. He also physically couldn’t seek and save the lost if he was stuck in one place being a doctor. 

·        Demands. He withdrew from the crowds who wanted him, for 1:1 time with the Father (Luke 5:15-16)

·        Abuse. He fought his way through the crowd that was trying to throw him off a cliff for claiming to be the Messiah  (Luke 4:28-30)

·        Entitlement. He didn’t give in to his mother and brothers who tried to use their relationship with him to pull him away from the crowd he was ministering to (Matthew 12:46-50)

·        Baiting Questions. When the religious leaders asked him baiting questions to make he look foolish he answered with incisive questions of his own (Matthew 21:23-27, 22:15-22)

·        Cynicism. He said no to Herod’s mocking demand of “Show us a sign that you are the Son of God.” (Luke 23:8-9)

Some examples from scripture

B with one another

·        Proverbs 25:17, “Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he has his fill of you and hate you.” 

·        Proverbs 26:4 says, “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.” This one is a little more nuanced. Many Christians feel the need to engage anyone who talks to or approaches them. While it’s good to be aware that God can bring you into contact with someone anywhere and at any time, that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to engage everyone you meet.

B for ourselves

·        Titus 2:12 – Control ourselves so that we limit our selfish ways.

·        2 Cor 6:14 – No fellowship with darkness

·        James 4:4 – Do not embrace the worlds way of doing things

B Raising Children

·        Proverbs 22:6 – Raising Children

So how do you know if your boundaries are sinful or not?

Examine the motive. The way to know which boundaries are godly is to examine the motive. Are you protecting yourself or someone weaker from potential harm, either emotional or physical? If so, then you are setting healthy and needful boundaries. However, if you are maintaining distance simply because you desire to exclude someone, that is sinful.

Me and Not Me

Prov 14:10 - Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and they will hate you.

Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows where you end and someone else begins, leading to a sense of ownership. We have to deal with what is in our soul and boundaries help us define what that is.

Spectator or Participant

Scriptures

Luke 9:1-17

Thought

While Jesus was working in his ministry here on earth the disciples where spectators at least for the first year or so. They witnessed him preaching, teaching, healing the sick, raising the dead, and much more. At some point Jesus looked at them all and told them their training was done and they must go out and further the kingdom.

There is a point in every Christian’s life when we have to stop sitting on the sidelines and start actually playing the game. Sadly there are many that never make it to that point. For whatever the reason it’s hard for us to allow Jesus to lead us into roles where we help further God’s kingdom.

Questions

Provide scriptures along with your answers

Today we are told to go out and heal the sick to do God’s work, we are simply asked to what?

What does it mean to you to depend on Jesus as he depended on God?

What experiences have you had when you involve yourself in someone that needs God in their life?

How do you start getting involved in God’s ministry?

Challenge

Come up with some way you and your family can become more involved in what is happening at Franklin Church of Christ. What is that you can do in order to help bring more people to God’s kingdom? 

Returning To God

Scriptures

Luke 15:11-32

Thought

Apologizing isn’t easy for most of us. Saying I was wrong is often humiliating and a something we try our best not to do.

What does apologizing have to do with returning to God? Apologizing is a lot like repentance. We realize we have been going the wrong way and need to turn around, but repentance is much deeper. It’s between you and God. 

Questions

Provide scriptures along with your answers

What is your definition of repentance?

We all know that confession of sin is important part of being a Christian. What is the best way to repent? Is there a need for public confession of sin?

What does repentance do for us?

What is our motivation to ask for repentance from God?

Challenge

Take the next week and work on yourself. Look at the temptations in your life and how you battle those. Look at when you fall short to living up to what God has asked of you. Work on breaking down any barriers that are between you and God. At the end of the week ask yourself how are you doing?

Counting The Cost

Scriptures

Luke 14:28-34

Thought

Read Luke 14:28-34

Here Jesus is asking us to count the cost before we start the project. To count the cost we have to prepare ourselves for all the trials that a Christian will face. Christ told us on many occasions that a life as a true Christian will bring many hardships. 

Questions

What would you say it cost you personally to follow Jesus?

Can you actually identify something YOU have had to give up in order to follow Jesus? How has that changed your life?

What has your family given up to follow Christ?

Challenge

Make a list of what you sacrifice daily, weekly, and yearly for your service to the Lord. Then ask yourself how you doing? 

Friendship Helps Shape Faith

Scriptures

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

1 Samuel 18:1-4

Thought

We can acknowledge it or not but we have been designed by God to need others. Our friendships that we have can have a deep impact on our faith. We have so many examples in the bible of friendship Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, Paul and Philemon, and many more. We need to discover for ourselves spiritual friendship, what it looks like, and how to rely on each other. 

Questions

Do you have a friend in your life that you can call out to for help when you’re in a dark place?

How important is it for us to get to know each other as a Christian family?

Acts 2:42 – The bible places importance on church family unit because of these reasons:

-          We study God’s word together

-          We worship God together

-          We find accountability in one another

-          We find support in trials

-          We gain opportunities for service

-          We learn to teach others together

Have you ever been challenged by a Christian friend and it help bring you back to God?

Challenge

Sometimes God uses a friend to transform us seemingly overnight. A friend speaks a word of challenge that, if responded to favorably, has the potential to help us grow exponentially.

Reach out to your Christian friends this week and let them know you are here for them. 

What Path Do I Take

Scriptures

Proverbs 3:5-6

Romans 12:1-2

Thought

We all know that God’s will for us as our father and creator is to ultimately be with him in heaven. He has laid out instructions for us through his word and given us an example through his son. Sometimes still it’s hard to know exactly the direction we need to go in our lives. 

Questions

How do you determine the path here on this earth to take that God has laid out for you and your family? 

How do we hear God’s voice? 

Will he make me do something I completely hate? 

How do I know it’s him and not something else?

Challenge

Take the next week and pray that God’s will be shown to you. Ask him for direction for your life and the life of your family. 

You are a Tool, What is your Job?

Many Christian people today are not living the successful lives that God intended for them because they have missed the purpose for their life.

Eph 2:10

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

If you are going to live successfully, you have to know what it is you are all about. What’s your job? What functionality do you have? You need to know the answers to those questions so that you as a tool are not used for something other than what you were created for. We all know that tools that are used for things that they were not created for run the risk of getting damaged.

The other day I was asked to hang a framed family photo on our living room wall by my wife. I of course oblige and went searching for a nail to use. Once I found the right size nail for this over sized picture frame I then started looking for a hammer. I looked for about five minutes and due to my laziness I decided that a medium size wrench would do the job for me (don’t get too self-righteous, you’ve done it too!). Sometimes being lazy causes us to use whatever is handy and not always what is right in order to get the job done.

With the wrench I knew I could get the nail in the wall, but I was not completely for sure how effective I was going to be with it. There’s a chance I could dent the wall, bend the nail, or scratch up the wrench.

Too many times Christians today are not functioning or flowing in the thing they were created for, and consequently, they are not effective. And sometime they two get hurt and damaged.

You do have a purpose. The bible tells us all that in Eph 2. This week pray that God shows you that purpose, and then develop the gifts God have given you to fulfill that purpose.